oh what a week,

what a week it has been.

job fair. i made it. i did it. i was freaking out for no reason.

i was calm and collected and not a single nerve in my body was activated.

i felt at ease. in my place.

unfortunately, though, 95% of the employers were traditional portraiture photographers or wedding photographers.

my work is different. my portraits are odd. most of my photographs have a dark mood, and i don't even intend on doing that most of the time. my teacher said it really shows who i am. (i'm hoping that doesn't mean i need to be on zoloft or anything.) he said i have such a creative eye, but not everyone will appreciate it.

though, they gave me good feed back. good advice. 

the wedding photographer that i was set up to talk to said he "didn't really understand my photography" and that it would be really hard to get a job with the things that i shoot, but whatever it is i shoot, i'm good at it. but he didn't really know what it was. he also ask me to pick out my least favorite picture in my portfolio. i pointed it out. he said that was his favorite. then he ask me to show him my favorite picture in my portfolio. i pointed it out. he said it was his least favorite. i guess it's all a matter of opinion.

i have so much to learn, so much growing to do, and i'm really excited about it. i improve with everything i do, every time i do it again. i guess practice really does make perfect. 

i moved into my new apartment, and i am in love.

i feel at home. this is where i belonged the whole time.

although, if i had moved here when i was 19, i'm sure it would look the way my old apartment did, too.

i am going to take care of it like it's my baby.

i can't get over how much i love living here, despite the fact that my ex boyfriends ex girlfriend used to live here, who i really just don't like. oh well.

my cat is still trying to figure it out. i hope she gets used to it soon. 

i still have to go back to the drake, empty out a whole bunch of shit, and paint the remaining walls white.

it's going to be such a gorgeous weekend that the thought of doing that now makes me want to cry.

i'm going to try to round up all the people i can to help.

only 3 weeks left of school.

that makes my heart drop into my stomach.

i really, really love that place.

i can't helieve it's over.

it has been the best chapter of my life so far.

not counting all the b.s. drama that happened outside of school.

but in school, i was so happy. i figured out who i was.

and i'm so thankful for that.

twenty two

4 day weekend.

Please, self. Take advantage of this time. 

My to-do lists are getting out of control.

All the strobe kits were signed out.

I'll have to compensate. Be creative.

I'm so excited for Emma's show tonight. 

My website is almost published.

I feel kind of real now.

Now all I need are my business cards.

I might have a pretty sweet internship, too.

Summer, hurry up and get here.

But at the same time, not too fast, please. 

I had a good weekend. I had the most fun i've had in a while, and it's refreshing to say that. 

I walked around the city today with Stevin. It was a beautiful day. 

We ran into quite a few people that I haven't seen in a while.

I really hate running into people I know, I'm too awkward for that.

But still, it's a sign that the dreadful months are finally coming to an end. 

It's been about 2 weeks since I've eaten any meat. 

My body feels so much better. 

Time really flies. I can't believe my days at Antonelli are coming to an end.

I'll miss that place. 

get out

i can not wait to move. 

i can NOT wait to move.

this apartment is toxic. it's poison. i literally feel like my skin is crawling just sitting in here.

no, really. my skin is actually crawling. 

things are winding down. i'm ready to start fresh. start over. clean slate. 

i've been ready.

i just need to get out of here to make it official. 

nothing feels better than crossing things off your to do list. 

20 days until job fair. lets see how fast time flies.