A fire has been reported in the building.

Truth.

It is so, incredibly, unbearably cold outside.

This weekend was crazy. I had planned to use my 2 days off to prepare for the weeks to come. I instead just fucked around and slept the days away, accomplishing nothing. I had fun, though, to look at it in a positive light. 

Tomorrow I have to present my portraiture portfolio to my class and teacher. I'm supposed to wear something professional looking, but I really don't have anything to fit that description. I hate speaking in public. I feel like I'm going to need to re-new my prescription of klonopins for all the presentations I'm going to have to make next semester, including a public speaking class. Not to mention the job fair, and my final portfolio speech. 

I got my christmas tree last night. From Wal-Mart. It's pretty cheap and crappy looking, but it's better than nothing. The christmas lights make me happy, put me in a good mood. It's only December 7th, and I'm already dreading the end of the season. I love Christmas time, but I absolutely cannot stand the months of January and February. So incredibly miserable. I hope I don't fall back into the black hole of winter. I don't know how people can maintain their motivation and drive when it's that depressing out. 

The most annoying fire alarm in the history of the world went off in my apartment building again. It's so loud and goes on forever and ever, freaking everyone out so they all run down 20 flights of stairs, carrying their dogs and cats, just to stand outside for 15 minutes for absolutely no reason. They're always false alarms. I stopped caring, stopped responding to what they say I should do. If there ever is an actual fire in this building, I will definitely burn down with it. 

I'm still feeling worried about a lot of my friends. It's stressful, more stress than I can physically, mentally and emotionally handle right now. I need to go to school feeling positive and clear headed, which is why I'm not doing all that I should/could be doing to help out the situation. Maybe it really isn't any of my business, but I can't help the way I feel. Hopefully they will come to a realization on their own, and it will all blow over. I just feel like I'm trying to grow up and mature a little bit, and it's harder than it should be. Maybe I'm just over thinking everything. 

I'm feeling stung out, stressed out, tired, all with a lack of self confidence. People have been complimenting me lately, on my work and my attitude, and it just makes me blush and feel uncomfortable. I wish I felt the same way they did, maybe then my motivation would kick up another notch. I just don't think I'm doing the very best that I can. Laziness, probably. The fact that the sun goes down so early freaks me out. Makes me anxious and rush things, rather than taking my time and putting all my effort and skill into things the way I should. 

I need to go pick out an outfit for tomorrow. This should be interesting.