crap.

God, I'm stressed out. What else is new.

My portfolio sucks. I'm not doing what I know I can do and it's biting me in the ass. I'm not going out and taking pictures all day every day, which is what I should be doing. I'm scared of meeting new people, because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. I feel like such a loser. 

When it comes to school, I do what I'm told to do, and the final result is usually good. My teachers like me. But I'm not going above and beyond. I don't have a solid portfolio. I have nothing to brag about. The second I feel an ounce of accomplishment or confidence, I look to my right or to my left, and see one of my classmates who has flew past me. 

Being "good enough" isn't... well, good enough. 

I am excited for Stevin to come home. In some weird way he is a tiny little muse for me. I feel like I need a bunch of miniature cheerleaders on my shoulder, or someone to kick me in the ass every once in a while.

I graduate in less than 2 months. That is so frightening. I'm not ready. 

I can't wait for a happy post.